I feel really old today....
People reminding me about my birthday and what I'm doing for it....big three zero.....I really couldn't care less to be honest...drink drink and drink thats all I fancy doing...failing that sit in and play WoW, makes no difference, I'm still working, its still freezing, and I will still have to get up at 6am for an early start...same shit, different day two numbers different...big deal? na.
Usually this wouldn't bother me at all, but seems alot of people I know have taken massive steps forward in the "great plan for life" (you know the wife/hubby, car, career, dog/cat, morgage, kids etc) thing is this doesn't interest me much, I like to be totally uncoventional and live life how I feel like living it, for better or worse. Though, I did receive an E-mail today from my long term girlfriend, Luna, saying she is getting married. Honestly I'm happy for her, the bloke shes with is a nice bloke from what I've seen of him, but i got a sence that I wasn't going anywhere, made me think as I was doing my stupid ammount of fileing that got backlogged, trouble is I've been thinking for a long time that my life doesn't go past 40, I honestly can't see myself living that long, mainly due to terrible mental state...this could be why I don't make long term plans anymore(that and usually they usually go wrong anyway...day at a time)..
Saying that, I had the same issue when I was 10 about getting a job, now I'm in a job I can't imagine life without one....the mind works in silly ways.
Still back to going back why I hate this time of the year, no Christmas shopping done and I gotta do that after work, and a good friend of mines Sister died.....I fucking hate Christmas, it just brings misery.
As I say every year....
This sums it all up (nicked from Grey kid off www.b3ta.com)